Is It That Hard?

I'm a lucky lady. I have Grout Daddy that loves me and will do just about anything to keep me happy. He takes care of the boy without asking me a million stupid questions, he rubs my feet almost every night, he puts the toilet seat down and gets me Starbucks when I'm being a cranky pants. I love that part of our marriage is driven by the desire to please one another. We go out of our ways to make it easier for the other person and even though we're not perfect, we're really perfect together.

However, there are a few things that I didn't realize needed special training (especially since I've apparently had this advanced lesson). The paper towel dispenser is quite complicated, refilling it is even worse. As are the lids on our canisters, the laundry basket and the towel rack . Our zillion button remote he learns in 5 minutes but can't remember how to start a load of laundry. Oh, and I think he's allergic to putting things in the trash can.


How does one pass on the complicated knowledge of making the bed, putting dishes in the sink or sweeping the floor onto the next generation? Super is too young at this age to start doing chores but I want him (and future sibs) entering the world in years to come knowing how to close dresser drawers, empty the trash when I gets full, cooking dinner a few nights a week and sweeping the floor. Or maybe cleaning up the spilled milk that dripped on the floor when *someone* was drinking out of the jug and didn't notice the dribble (or maybe they did) and it sat on the floor until it became goo. I'm not saying anything though. I hope my SuperDestroyer picks up some of his Cousin Tiny Tots traits and starts doing chores at the age of two. I won't be holding my breath but really, when is a good age to start that?

Grrr Toddlers

I know my blogs have been really pessimistic lately. They are probably going to be that way for a few more weeks until I'm finally done with smoking (coffee is gone, whoo hoo, well at least the driving need to have one everyday, Karen promised me one and I'm so taking it). Cold turkey didn't work this time but I can quit cold turkey everyday if I have to (it worked for coffee). A wise lady once told me "You only fail if you give up trying" and those are words I believe I should live by. I'm so happy that Grout Daddy is on board with me, I know I couldn't do this without him.

So, I'm not loving this adventure in to Crankytown with Super. I love watching him learn and grow but this attitude he's developed lately...I have a new respect for the parents with strong willed children that are able to deal with this without mangling their child. He is so cute when we sit together at the computer and play the ABC Zoo game or talk to MassageGrandma and Big Sis. I think that by me allowing him to press the keys so he can see different letters, it has led my child to believe that he is proficient in computers. A few weeks ago, he somehow managed to turn off our copy/paste function. How on earth did he do that! It took two seconds to happen, how long can it take to get it back, right? After about two weeks, we gave up trying. I don't know if he got to the computer again but it's magically back. He also likes to walk up next to you when you're composing an email or a blog and press the big button on the front of the computer. Yeah! Then he enjoys emptying his bottle onto the keyboard. He would rather be dehydrated than use a sippy/straw/water bottle/regular cup but once he isn't thirsty anymore, he likes to press the tip of the bottle down gently on something so little dots of milk come out. Do that 30-50 times and he has a nice little puddle to splash around in. Q-Tips can only get so much, my keyboard stinks so bad.

Yesterday, he dropped our computer mouse into a large cup of water. Nice! Now after two trips to the store to find something that actually worked for us, we have a new mouse and I HATE IT! If I don't use it for a certain number of minutes, I have to re-link them by pressing tiny little buttons on the bottom of the mouse and the receiver. He sees this new addition to our computer so what is the only thing in the house that he has any desire to play with (besides the trash can)? Why oh why can't my kid be interested in the books that we read, or coloring without eating the crayons, or singing songs and going to the park? Why must he play with our PS3 and computer. Why must he get into the trash, laundry, cabinets and toilet!?! No matter how goofy we're acting, after 5-10 minutes, he's off to destroy something else. Don't get me started on how much he likes the dishwasher.

And, tell me this, how is it that he WON'T convey that he is thirsty (he will bring us his bottle 30% of the time or so) and will cry until we figure it out (even if there is a bottle in plain view) but he will turn on the TV right after we turn it off when it's time for bed? How does he know how to work a remote control? We really don't watch a lot of TV anymore so how would he learn the buttons to press to turn everything on (or off). If something is too loud, he even knows how to mute it. Oy vey!

I will say, it's so cute when I pick him up and hear "a.....a.....a....g....e" when he wants to sing the ABC song. Or when we identify our mouths and noses. He dances to Seasame Street and SuperWhy. I love those super tight little hugs I get when he wraps his arms around my neck or gets jealous when Grout Daddy kisses me and must kiss me too. His funny little giggles and playing chase and hide and seek. I love that little snot no matter how much I complain about him. Now that I've got this vent off my chest, I really wish I could go pick him up out of his bed and give him a hug and kiss.

This Is Why We Don't Have Animals

Grout Daddy is a big fan of owning pets. Me... not so much. I'm sure when my babies are grown and I don't have a little person to cuddle anymore, I might be clingy enough to need a pet. In my opinion, Mitch Hedberg made a very valid point "If you're need for companionship outweighs your desire to not pick up [poop], that means you're an animal person" or something like that. I don't want anything around that will lick me without my permission or take MY spot on the couch/bed. I don't want something else following me around the house because it needs attention. I really don't want to deal with the messes that comes with house training. (I'm not knocking those who love their pets or the species themselves, it's just not for me)


Unfortunately, my son has crossed that human/stupid animal line and peed in my BED! We were running around and playing, being goofy and such. I sat down at the computer for a few moments and Super climbed up on my bed. What I didn't notice is that he took his diaper off in the living room. So I was turning to him to give him the tickle monster and to my dismay, he's standing on my bed, a big grin on his face and a puddle right between where G-Daddy and I put our heads down to sleep. I'm loving the start of the terrible twos...

He is a SuperDestroyer

Nothing makes this child happier than to go in my closet and yank down anything he can get his hands on. Or he'll empty out my goodwill bags of everything I want to give away but it mixes with the piles of clothes (he so lovingly pulled down) that I want to keep. Argh! It doesn't end there. He now recognizes how much he likes drawers. Kitchen drawers must be closed (even if you're trying to get something out, he'll shut it on your hands), his clothing drawers must be open and empty. We cloth diaper half the time and the only logical place to keep the diapers is in his drawers (before he was pulling everything off the top of his dresser/changing table). Then there are the cabinets. All Tupperware must be strewn about the floor and all doors must be open. There must be at least one jar of peanut butter on the floor we well as 2-5 little blocks. I found 3 baby spoons in his toy boxes (ha ha! I found the stash). Usually there is an unraveled roll of paper towels involved and empty trash bags. Don't even think about leaving the microwave door open (even while pulling out hot oatmeal), he must close it or bat it around until the door doesn't swing past the edge of the counter.

We've been fighting this battle for a long time, pretty much since he became mobile. It's never going to end! Once he's old enough to actually follow instructions, we're going to have another little crazy person who's going to learn lessons of destruction from their brother and THEN two children will be teaching the youngest the tricks of the trade.

August 2007

October 2007

After the chaos is created, he's more than happy to sit quietly... until you try to clean it up. These are the only two pictures I can get to load up right now. I have TONS of the messes he's created and this isn't the half of it. I try to look at the bright side, I'm not the only one. SereneMama had her own disaster the other day and she has 3 children! I can't imagine juggling everything she does PLUS having to clean up the messes (read: Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk).

There is a ray of hope. I've always been jealous of Big Sis. She was able to somehow train Tiny Tot from a very young age (or maybe he did it on his own) to carry his dirty diapers to the trash can. He'll even go get fresh ones for her! AND when Bubble was born, he knew the difference enough to get one for him or for her. Today, I gave Super his diaper and watched to see what he would do. He made a bee line for the trash can and threw it in! Hopefully we can teach him that trash goes in and to stop taking stuff out! Diapers are kept in his rooms trash bin but he loves the kitchen trash can, so much that he broke the lid and now has full access. Luckily, I've noticed more going in than coming out, I just wish I would stop finding his toys among old food, torn up mail and the rest of the random stuff that's in a trash container.

*Sigh*

Well, Grout Daddy and I are having a date night out so I'm going to go primp! We're going back to 5 Seasons and I can't wait. If the food is even half as good as last time, it's worth the past abuse.

Family Stories

I was chatting with Grout Daddy and we started talking about some funny experiences that we've had together. I think I'd like to share some family stories with you guys. You might have heard these before but I can still giggle at the thought of them.

I'm going to start off with my own humiliation...


The Turkey Story

Notorious throughout my family. You'd hear it at the dinner table every time I brought home a friend or a new boyfriend. Or maybe everyone will tell it to each other because for some reason, they all find it hilarious. Eventually they'll tell my children and their cousins...

When I was 8 or 9 years old, we went to visit my grandparents up in Pensacola. They own 8 acres, most of the land was used for their business and the rest was crops and a little mini farm. They had bunnies, chickens and turkey. Have you ever seen a turkey up close? They are not pretty animals to say the least.... We just got back from dinner and I was so excited to go see the bunnies. What 8 or 9 year old girl can resist snuggling a little fuzzy bunny? So I open the cage, pet the bunnies and I'm loving it. I'm having a great time. Just petting a bunny and enjoying life.

I don't remember what set me off or caused me to look up but I raised my eyes and came face to face with a full grown turkey! Before I continue, have you ever heard a turkey gobble? It's sounds like you're trying to strangle a goose or a duck and it's LOUD. They also do a head bobble that's creepy. So I'm face to face with this beast, six inches from my face and it started gobbling at me. Well yeah, heck yeah, I screamed like the little girl I was and began my retreat. One fumbling step backwards and I tripped and fell.... into a trough of dirty, moldy, rain water, chicken feces and dirt.

Everyone else found this SOOOO funny. Not to mention that I cut the back of my leg and it didn't heal for over a month, or that I didn't have any extra pants at my grandparents house and had to wear a towel around my waist for the rest of the visit and now I have the wonderful experience of hearing/telling the story almost anytime I come home to visit.

P.S. Thanksgiving sucks!


Little Bro and the Greasy Pepsi

I don't know if I'm the only one that remembers it besides the poor kid that it happened to. Maybe I'm a heartless jerk because to this day it still makes me laugh. A summer or two after the infamous day of turkey, we went camping as a family. We used to have so much fun on those trips. Swimming, playing and lighting campfires with the "dragon breath". The scent of bug repellent always sends me back.

My father had cooked what I am assuming is bacon but, it could have been some other kind of greasy meat. He didn't want to spill the grease on the ground so he put it in an empty can. It sat there for a while.... and along Little Bro, a sweet, innocent kid on a hot day. Buzzed head and missing some teeth, he spies a can of Pepsi. We weren't really supposed to drink those sodas but he went for a quick sip anyway and got a mouth full of animal fat. The face he made was priceless and I'm not even going to attempt to describe it, he spit it out and turned a lovely shade of red. I made sure to check all of my sodas for the next 10 years.

Grout Guy and his Tiny T-Shirt

Grout Daddy owns a small business called the Grout Guys. Part of his job is to go do estimates. I really respect the fact that he can go to strangers houses to do this. I'm not a really nervous person but that's scary now and people are insane. However, sometimes I feel for the person on the receiving end. One morning Grout Guy went to his first estimate, he had to rush out of the house because SuperDestoyer was still reasonably young and he was letting me sleep. He had everything he needs including his extra tee shirt (it drives me nuts that he must wear two shirts at all times), but he didn't put the second shirt immediately like usual. After getting to the customers house, he grabs his book, puts his hat on backwards and heads to the front door. This poor woman opens her door to a 6'8", lanky, baby-faced man wearing a tiny tee shirt. A shirt that is probably 10 years old and says "Blunting Your Way Through College, One Blunt at a Time", a shirt that is so short on him that it shows all of the visible boxers and a little patch of tummy skin and where the sleeves are so short they only cover deltoids. Did I mention that he has almost an inability to tan? Then she hears his abnormally deep voice say "Hi, I'm with the Grout Guys."

Stay tuned for a possible part 2 of this blog....

Annie Bananie

Miss BubbleBooty is getting so big! Look at that little trunk full-o-junk! I don't know what it is about little diapered butts but they are so cute! I can't believe how much hair she has now too! Big Sis is doing a great job, check out some of her truly hilarious pictures. (I really like the pic of Annie giving a very suspicious look at the bottom of the blog)

Barefoot in the Park

We went to a park yesterday that sits where an old cotton mill used to be. It's big and open and has a great little kids section. We met a lot of really nice people and Super got to play with some dogs. Well, he would chase them until they turned around and then he'd run away! We could not do anything to keep that kids shoes and socks on so we let him run around barefoot. It didn't seem to bother him so we just made sure that he didn't walk through rocks or dog poo.

The Sound Any Mother Loves...

I'm not the best cook in the world but I love creating meals that make my family happy. I love food. I love the smells, the textures, the flavors and I know I've passed on this love to my son. SuperDestroyer has taken to peanut butter lately (so much that we've started calling him SuperChunky). We feed him pretty good so I highly doubt that he's ever REALLY hungry. Several times a day, without fail, he brings me the jar(s) of PB out of the pantry and usually a spoon he has hidden in his toy box. I've tried to give him other foods but what he used to love isn't enough unless it's smothered in the stickiest, hardest to clean up food ever. Oh, and if it's not PB it must have cheese on it, period.

Grout Daddy and I made a new concoction that is SOOO YUMMY! Milk (soy works too), chocolate protein powder, a banana, peanut butter (smooth is the best), a splash of vanilla and a squeeze of chocolate sauce to your liking. It tastes like a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup milkshake. SuperChunky LOVES it. He is very camera shy so I didn't get the greatest example but anytime we feed him, this is what we hear...






It cracks me up! Something else that gets me is that he's very honest about it. I know when I make something that isn't up to par. For one, it doesn't get eaten and second, I don't get the lovely sound effects. How much would I love it if my son became a chef? It would be awesome! Watch out, Bobby Flay! (J/K, I'd be miserable without Boy Meets Grill)

Can You Believe This?

Alright, the restaurant where the waiter chased us out of the parking lot, they STILL haven't sent us the gift cards that were promised! Grout Daddy went there today to see what was going on because it's been a month since the incident and we hadn't heard anything after I spoke to them two weeks ago. They realized their mistake and worked everything out over a beer with G-Daddy (now that's good customer service, get them drunk and they'll agree to anything). Now we have a gift card for more than what we spent on that notorious night. Date night here we come! I don't care if we get verbally abused every time we go, the food is amazing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into those lamb chops again. Now, what to do on date night besides eating...? Ideas, anyone?

Stress Relief

I went to the gym this morning and I had a blast! I ran on the elliptical, used the rowing machine and played some racquetball. I was alone so I tried some of the drills that MassageMama showed me last week and I spent a good ten minutes in that room just whacking the crap out of that ball. I had to laugh at myself though. I was all proud and running around the room and hitting anything that came close to me. During one round of continuous whacking, I ran up the middle of the court and hit the ball as hard as I could. The sound it made was so satisfying and the hit looked great BUT then I watched it bounce off the wall and zoom right at my face. That thing hit me right in the mouth and sent my head flying back. I was maybe ten feet away from the wall I hit it against. I know someone must have seen it (oh the embarrassment) but it just made my urge to beat the ball stronger.

I'm really looking forward to when Grout Guys ankle heals (he was injured during a basketball game) and we can play together. After practicing by myself today, I noticed that I don't hit the ball very high off the wall and I didn't notice the height when it was me and my mom. However, with me being as petite as I am and G-Daddy being as tall as he is, we're going to have a very interesting game on our hands. If I have found a game that I actually have a chance of winning in, I'm going to be so happy! As of right now there is nothing I can do better. How do you play against a man 20" taller than you (and a wing span of almost 7ft) in anything? Basketball? Hahahaha, no. Football? Nope. Soccer? Baseball? Tennis? Running? No, no, no, no. I have a minuscule chance of beating him at swimming but that's because he doesn't care to swim and it's like pulling teeth to get him in the water. If he really applied himself, he'd whoop me. What else is there? Volleyball? Yeah, right.

We Can See You!

Whoo hoo! The Cheeseball clan got a webcam! I know that technologically we're still a few years behind but I'm so happy that we can see people now! For those of you that don't know us personally, my extended family lives in DC and Florida and we see them a few times a year. Grout Daddy's father lives all the way out in New Zealand and I've only met him once, the week we got married back in 2006 (I was 4 months preggo then so South Pacific Grandpa's never met Super). Until now, my family would wait anxiously for the few vacations we go on to see how much Super has grown and to chuckle because Tiny Tot can't come close to the chunkage that he has. Now, I can't wait to hear the music play through my computer that tells me my Big Sis is calling.



I don't know much about how all of this works but we're on the Skype network if anyone is interested in giving me a ring. Super is really into watching people on the screen and was so excited today when we made a call to MassageMama. If I could just figure out how to make a conference call so everyone can see everyone, we're all set!

I'll Miss You MassageMama!

I just dropped my mother off at the airport after our quick 2 day visit and I'm going to miss her like crazy. I'm lucky enough to have a husband that really "gets" me. I have a weird little mind that is tangent crazy and some of the time I can be very hard to follow. However, when you're with family that helped shape your mind, it's really refreshing to be able to talk to someone, completely change directions in mid-conversation and have them know exactly what you're talking about and to have them right there next to you.

For example: Last night we were enjoying the great weather out on our deck. Mom and I were chatting about sewing machines and I mentioned that I didn't have a proper table to put one on. She told me that I can get around that and Big Sis does her sewing on the floor because it's easier for her. So I go right into a story about this girl in India that doesn't have any arms but is still able to help her family make money by working in a sweat shop and uses her mouth/tongue to thread the needles and her chin/neck to turn the crank to make the machine work (I saw her on Ripley's). Grout Daddy just looked bewildered and had no idea where this came from but MassageMama with right there with me in the conversation. I went from me sewing to Big Sis sewing on the floor to poor girl in India that sews on the floor but doesn't have arms to I can sew on the floor if she can... time to not pity myself for not having a proper sewing table. Ta-da!

This applies to almost everything. Cooking, shopping, working out... I always forget what it like to be with my family when they're not around. My sibs are the same way, we're all different and special in our individual ways but put us together and we can make MassageMama laugh so hard she cries. It's nothing extraordinarily funny but it is because we "get" each other and she understands how all of our minds work because she helped to install the buttons.

Another wonderful part of Grout Daddy is that he has enormous patience and can explain things to me better than most people. But there is nothing like learning a lesson from someone that actually taught you how to read, write, tie the shoes, talk, walk, sing and dance. MassageMama gave me my first racquetball lessons! I can't wait to play again! I always watched people at the gym and always figured it for a somewhat random game. Yeah, balls bounce off walls and you have to hit them, right? Ohhhh noooo. My superior way of thinking was completely shot down the tubes by my mom kicking my butt up and down that court. She was super encouraging and I feel like I made some great progress (especially for never playing before) but she practically skipped off the court while I dragged my loser behind out. Don't feel too bad for me, she is an amazing woman and I hope to have even half of the physical stamina that she does.

SuperDestroyer is also going to miss having MassageGranny around. Kids really know when someone genuinely loves them and he really responded to her. He loves to eat and she loves to feed him. Heck, she gave him half of Clif bar and he was over the moon with her. She got quite the fond "Grandma, where are you and mommy going? I miss you, come back, come BACK!" farewell as we were heading out to the airport. We're so looking forward to our trip to Florida next month. The whole family is getting together and it's going to be a mad house!

MassageMama, we can't wait until you can visit again. Thanks for spoiling all of us (me)!

My Mom is Coming to Visit!

Yeah!!! I haven't seen her in months and she'll be here tomorrow evening to play for a few days! I was severely jealous when she went to visit Big Sis last week and I could barely get one of them on the phone.

Mom is a very outdoorsy type and I love it (that's probably were I get my itch to be outside as well), if the weather is nice I know she'd be down for a walk to the park and a pit stop at my favorite Starbucks. She's also going to teach me how to play racquetball! I remember being a kid and going with my parents to the park. They'd put on all their gear and start whacking these balls around while we peeked through the small spaces near the floor. We'd even draw faces on the exploded racquetballs and make them talk to each other (don't judge, I was 7 and that is normal).

I fondly remember how active my parents were when we were small children and now that I have Grout Daddy on board fitness wise, we may even be able to do some of the fun things like I did when I was little. Both of my parents were really into cycling and they'd join these big road trips of cyclists. They'd pack me and Big Sis (sorry Little Bro, I can't remember if you were there yet or not) in the car and we take off. One parent would drive, one would cycle and they'd switch when the time was right. We'd get junk food and biker snacks while we watch everyone truckin' along in all kinds of different weather conditions. Then you camp out in a tent, eat more yummy food and snuggle down in anticipation of the next day. It was Florida so it was never really that cold but I do remember a school allowing all of the hundreds of people to camp out on their grass for a night. A very distinct memory is that we had to shower in FREEZING cold water. The men's showers had hot water but we didn't so my dad came out all happy, clean and warm and me and my sis came out grouchy, cold and probably with a little bit of shampoo and conditioner still in our hair.

I wish Atlanta was more cycle friendly. I know I get annoyed when I'm driving and some moron is in the middle of the road but I can't help but feel some love towards the men and women in all spandex, swiftly moving up and down the hills around us. So keep on! those of you not afraid to brave the streets of my fair city. I pray that nothing bad happens to you when you head around a blind corner and straight into an intersection when you're going down hill and the weather suddenly changes and some jerk bag just sharply cut in front of you because of their entitlement issues.

Wait, wasn't this about my mom. Whoo hoo! She's coming! I'll see you tomorrow, Lady! Be prepared because this is going to be interesting with a very active toddler who has entitlement issues of his own.

Introducing Some Key Players

My Big Sis is one of the cutest people I've ever met. She has two children that I adore and I'm so lucky that I can call her everyday (and I do), chat with her about anything and listen to her kids grow up. Tiny Tot is 2 and oh so sassy. He was able to wish Grout Hubby a Happy Birthday (sort of) over the phone and I'm so proud. I call him Tiny Tot as a joke because he was 2 on Christmas and is 10 months older than SuperDestroyer. However, SuperDestroyer outweighs him with 3-4lbs of chunk and they are eye to eye. It's so cute to see the two of them run around together. Tiny Tot is quick and very smart and you can see that little brain going at full speed, SuperDestroyer is more lumbering around and I can almost hear his thoughts of "Ok Tiny, we'll do what you want.... what? Food? Gotta go!"




Which I'm sure means he'll have more in common with BubbleBooty, my lovely niece of 8 months. This girls got some junk in her trunk! I'm not making fun of her, who doesn't love a big wagon on a baby girl? She loves her food and demands it, otherwise the shriek comes out full throddle. Big Sis, I applaud you, I hope to be half as patient when my time comes. How could anyone resist that adorable face? She has her mothers face, straight down to the dimples.

I love hearing her giggle and scream though. Makes me happy that we'll be adding to our family in the near future. I haven't seen her in a few months so I'm looking forward to our family get-together in May for my mothers birthday. I hope she still snuggly like she was back then, I just hope Super doesn't have an aneurysm trying to get her out of my lap and him in.

Big Sis started a blog! I'm so happy! Check her out!

So Sad

We were looking at SuperDestroyers hair and we both realized that it's time for him to get his first haircut. I'm going to cry so hard. I don't know what the big deal about it is to me but I'm dreading losing some of those long locks. However, summer is approaching and it wouldn't be very kind of me to stick my poor toddler with a curtain of hair that will make him hot and get all sticky. This child has been given compliments from day one on his awesome head of hair. Yes, I'm bragging but it's true. So, what do I have done? I've seen some horrible haircuts on little kids. Right now he's got the feathery Emo look and I love it.

I'm worried that because he hair is so light, when it gets cut, it's going to stick straight up like it did when he was an infant. I can't shave or buzz it either. I'd probably tear up looking at him until it grew back. Big Sis is already poking at me a bit because he's often mistaken for a girl. I also have no idea where to take him to get this done. Little Man thrashes around in a shopping cart basket because he doesn't like being strapped to anything.

I'll probably put it off for a few more weeks/months. Can little boys look masculine with a ponytail?